"Spiritual aspiration is to the intellect as perfume is to a flower." (author unknown)
16 October 2012
"Biographical Choices"
"We are not fluent in love but spend our life learning about it.
Its energy is pure power. We are as attracted to love as we are intimidated by it.
We are motivated by love, controlled by it, inspired by it, healed by it and destroyed by it.
Love is the fuel of our physical and spiritual bodies.
Each of life's challenges is recorded within all our tissues: we live within the biological consequences of our biographical choices."
~ From 'Anatomy of the Spirit' by Caroline Myss. (Recommended read for anyone wanting to understand the illogical way we operate sometimes in love and life)
04 October 2012
Be Happier: 10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now
~ From
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/how-to-be-happier-work-10-things-stop-doing.html
Sometimes the route to happiness depends more on what you
don't do.
Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the
following 10 things: Happiness--in your business life and your personal life--is
often a matter of subtraction, not addition.
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your
expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems. But you're also to
blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in
enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of
blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing
things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your
possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all
"things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they
like you. Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is
also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a
real relationship. Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form
genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just
be yourself.
3. Clinging.
When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what
you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you. An absence of
fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you
can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you don't succeed in
earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about
yourself.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone,
what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can
understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want
to say." Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what
they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. They'll love
you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about
your problems makes you feel worse, not better. If something is wrong, don't
waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better.
Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that.
So why waste time? Fix it now. Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how
you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And
do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they
cry on. Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives
better.
6. Controlling.
Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry.
Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog. Still, the only thing you
really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other
people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your
opinions are more important than theirs. Plus, control is short term at best,
because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of
pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work
harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be happier.
7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced.
Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more
dragons. That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That
just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone else--including your employees. Everyone is different: not
better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the
shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share
the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more
likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you
think you know. When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may
hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling
less happy.
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from
the mistakes of others.
Then let it go. The past is just training; it doesn't define
you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure
that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it
goes right.Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad
happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When
another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind,
forgiving, and understanding.
10. Fearing.
We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what
we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might
perceive us. So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to
decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a
few more alternatives. Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us
by. And so do our dreams. Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've
been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get
started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If
you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter
a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step. Put your
fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything. Otherwise, today is
gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one
thing you should truly fear wasting.
Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and
technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything
else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he
knows in business. @jeff_haden
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