Need for Dust

“Sometimes your heart is just broken down into dust. At times, though, it’s only dust that will put out certain fires.”

~ Imam Muhammad Abdul Latiff

Is there Love in an Argument?

Imagine a trivial incident: Your mate asks you to help clean up the house when you are watching TV or reading a book you don’t want to break away from. How do you frame this situation?

Ego frames it as “You want me to do something I prefer not to do. I’ll decide whether to give in or not.” Spirit frames it as “I see that you need me.” Notice that the outcome is not what is at stake. Whether or not the ego gives in, it is still framing the incident as a conflict. Its main concern is to keep power on its side, therefore it must win the conflict. Winning means either saying no and getting away with it or saying yes and feeling magnanimous. The aim of both outcomes is to avoid defeat.

Spirit has no such ulterior motives. It acknowledges the other person’s need, but it neither takes responsibility for that need nor opposes it. In this way the other person is seen as real, because whenever you need something, your need is your reality.

The only true need anyone has is to be seen as real.

A lot of the time we are lost in unreal needs. Your mate could be asking you to clean house for dozens of reasons. She may be angry or feel upset that household work is all left to her. She may feel demeaned, ignored, overwhelmed, anxious, compulsive, controlling – or she may just need help cleaning the house.

The absence of ulterior motives is what marks spirit. The neediness of an insecure ego doesn’t get disguised by other tactics. When you are in spirit you don’t feel the urge to manipulate, cajole, seduce, demand, beg, or insist. You simply allow, and in that you make an open space for love to flow.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/is-there-mutual-love-in-an-argument.html#ixzz2JKJHWgGO

Welcome 2013!

Decisions. 
They are incumbent to sane living. Sane living with no regrets. And how steadfast we must remain to our decisions or we lose sight of the horizon. 

One thing gives for another. We make priorities and convince ourselves the best decision has been made. Giving up one job for another, giving up some time for one task over another event. Life in its wisdom, only brings us forward. And fate smiles upon us time and again, with the fair chance that we have moved in the 'right' direction - Forward. 

There are times I make my decisions fast and keep to them but more often than not, I do ponder back and forth on which decision to make. Seeking guidance from the inner voice may help but what if the inner voice is faint. Then we can't hear ourselves. Yet the decisions need to be made. 

I'm at the start of 2013 and having to make some important decisions. Mainly about work, choice of where to live, get own place or not, finishing the first book, settling down... My comfort is in the birds' chirps outside - constant and telling me it's ok. All decisions made will lead you somewhere. Just embrace the path. 

Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).”

 آل عمران‎ : Surah Al ‘Imran (3:173)