"Biographical Choices"

"We are not fluent in love but spend our life learning about it. 
Its energy is pure power. We are as attracted to love as we are intimidated by it. 
We are motivated by love, controlled by it, inspired by it, healed by it and destroyed by it.
Love is the fuel of our physical and spiritual bodies.
Each of life's challenges is recorded within all our tissues: we live within the biological consequences of our biographical choices."

~ From 'Anatomy of the Spirit' by Caroline Myss. (Recommended read for anyone wanting to understand the illogical way we operate sometimes in love and life)

Be Happier: 10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now

~ From http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/how-to-be-happier-work-10-things-stop-doing.html

Sometimes the route to happiness depends more on what you don't do.

Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things: Happiness--in your business life and your personal life--is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.

1. Blaming.

People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.

So you blame them for your problems. But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. Impressing.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you. Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship. Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

3. Clinging.

When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you. An absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity. Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

4. Interrupting.

Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say." Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. They'll love you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.

5. Whining.

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better. If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now. Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on. Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Controlling.

Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog. Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs. Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships. And all of you will be happier.

7. Criticizing.

Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons. That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you. Just like everyone else--including your employees. Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.

8. Preaching.

Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know. When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

9. Dwelling.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go. The past is just training; it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

10. Fearing.

We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives. Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by. And so do our dreams. Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step. Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything. Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business. @jeff_haden

The Story of the Eagle

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, Not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.
A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes.
It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.
Let’s change to make a change!!!

When it rains, most birds head for shelter;

the eagle is the only bird that, in order to avoid the rain,

starts flying above the cloud. ...

"...know that often through delay are gifts received"

Should you not gain your wants, my soul, then be not grieved;
But hasten to that banquet which your Lord’s bequeathed.
And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
Then know that often through delay are gifts received.
Find solace in privation and respect its due,
For only by contentment is the heart relieved.
And know that when the trials of life have rendered you
Despairing of all hope, and of all joy bereaved,
Then shake yourself and rouse yourself from heedlessness,
And make pure hope a meadow that you never leave.
Your Maker’s gifts take subtle and uncounted forms.
How fine the fabric of the world His hands have weaved.
The journey done, they came to the water of life,
And all the caravan drank deep, their thirst relieved.
Far be it from the host to leave them thirsty there,
His spring pours forth all generosity received.
My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong,
That trust is now my shield; I’m safe, and undeceived.
All those who hope for grace from You will feel Your rain;
Too generous are You to leave my branch unleaved.
May blessings rest upon the loved one, Muhammad {pbuh} ,
Who’s been my means to high degrees since I believed.
He is my fortress and my handhold, so my soul,
Hold fast, and travel to a joy still unconceived.

- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi (translated by Abdal Hakim Murad)

3 Ways to Practice Patience at work (from Care2 website)

The following is an article on Care2 website that i felt was worthy of sharing :)

_________________

I sometimes think that Zen students and entrepreneurs are the most patient, and at the same time the least patient, people. Zen students spend long hours, days, and years, sitting, facing a wall, expecting nothing. Entrepreneurs spend a tremendous amount of time, energy, and money planning and working without knowing the results of their efforts. While Zen students and entrepreneurs exhibit great patience they are equally impatient when it comes to accepting anything less than perfection.

Basho, a Zen poet, wrote:

Fleas, lice

The horse pissing

Near my pillow

This poem describes the rawness of Basho’s life and his ability to describe things just the way they are. My poem for today could be something like:

Email not working

Employees out sick

Little accomplished

Our lives at work are filled with difficulty. People are late for meetings. Our ideas are not met with enthusiasm. Computers crash, restart, and crash again. Other people don’t meet our expectations. Our overnight package is lost. Relationships become impossible. Cash shortages are threatening, and businesses fail. Patience requires that we fully and directly face our difficulties, that we embrace and learn from situations and from our feelings about them. Owning and transforming our pain and disappointment can be a tremendous challenge, as well as a tremendous gift.

Patience is what connects the entrepreneurial spirit required in business with facing the truth of what is actually required in Zen practice. It takes patience to face the truth of where we are in our work lives. The truth may include the pain of not meeting expectations, a variety of messy and challenging situations facing us each day, as well the possibilities of transformation and great accomplishment.

Zen describes several kinds of patience that can be practiced at work: acceptance of difficulty and hardship, not acting hastily, and acceptance of what is true. Let’s explore these.

Acceptance of difficulty. Our lives at work can be transformed when we completely accept that difficulty is to be expected and cannot be avoided. This doesn’t mean we take the negative attitude of “what will go wrong today?” Instead, we just pay attention to our own state of mind. We make our best effort. We meet each situation as it arises.

Not acting hastily. Given how difficult, unpredictable, and stressful our work lives can be, it is easy to respond quickly and impatiently. In difficult situations, just stop, think, and look more carefully at what really is the cause of the difficulty. When your computer crashes you can get upset and yell at whoever is in charge of your computer systems. Or, when your computer crashes, what if you just stop, take a breath, and notice your breathing, notice what is around you.

Acceptance of what is true. Most of our impatience comes from our wanting things to be different from what they are. Our overnight package did not arrive overnight. This is just true. There is nothing we can do to change what is. We can take actions to expedite the package’s delivery, but this action includes accepting what is difficult, not acting hastily, and accepting what is true.

Some questions:

When are you patient and when you are impatient at work?

What is most difficult for you at work?

What part of this difficulty do you create?

How can you transform this difficulty?

Adapted from Z.B.A. Zen of Business Administration.

Marc Lesser is CEO of ZBA Associates LLC, a company providing executive coaching, leadership development consulting, and keynote speaking services to businesses and non-profits. He is a developer and instructor of Google’s Search Inside Yourself program. Marc was the founder and former CEO of Brush Dance publishing. Marc is a Zen teacher with an MBA degree; a former resident of the San Francisco Zen Center for 10 years, and graduate of NYU’s Stern School of Business. He is the author of Less: Accomplishing More By Doing Less and Z.B.A. Zen of Business Administration.

Fifty years of a bitter-sweet union

They did it! Fifty long years of trudging along the marital path, of putting up with one another, of biting their tongue and being patient when the tendency was to just yell out at the other, of reminding themselves the bigger picture meant holding the fabric of the family together and staying together. 


Mom and dad celebrated their 50th anniversary this past weekend (June 2011) and I felt a glowing sense of pride and pleasure as I celebrated it with them. 


Their request had been simple - just a simple chaat* outing at East Coast Park. So we packed 2 flasks of chai, grabbed two picnic mats, some of my traveller-friendly cups, and off we went to the beach. We packed our own chai because the one served in public places is so sweet and if you say 'no sugar', it's so bland and bitter. So to satiate mom and dad's chai desire, we made it at home and off we went. I was blessed to have a car in those days and with God's grace, managed to find a parking spot close to the beach area so mom needn't walk for miles. 

I had invited my cousin Sarim along and he was then newly arrived in Singapore.  So it was fun! Sarim and I went to buy all the chaat samaan from nearby Komala Vilas. And as the beach became crowded, we dug into it and had a small family circle enjoying the sunset and the evening. As dusk overtook everyone's agenda, it was mesmerising to be at the beach and watch planes take off from Changi in the distance or ships on the horizon. Lovely evening light. Kids were flying their kites and several malay and indian families were coming out of the sea after casual play in the water.


Mom and dad, I'm so proud of you two. Despite all the difficulties we have all faced as a family, you have shown by example that patience, love, acceptance are powerful tools that hold the family together. Much more than Phds, career successes or money. I remain forever grateful to your persistence at life and its challenges. May we all learn a lesson or two from your example :) Ameen. 


May you always have health, wealth (of iman and daily existence), and rewards always and always. May all your duas be accepted and my love remains with you always. 


Thank you for your dedication and sacrifice!
Much love from your daughter     


*Chaat - a collection of South-Asian snacks often eaten at late afternoon tea time.

Visions of Sham (Greater Syria)

I'm reminded of my trip to Syria (done in 2008), several times... often when I'm lost in my consciousness and out of the blue, the scenes would play themselves out, as if a button has been pressed. I had gone to Syria with a group of people gathered between the NUS Middle East & North Africa Society and the Al-Markaz Arabic Language school. I had attended a sufi music event at the Arab Association (a place I hardly step into) and was given a flier by a girl about this upcoming trip. While waiting for the music program to start, I was intrigued by this flier in my hand and the incredibly attractive cost for the 2 week trip (S$2250) including flights, shared accommodation and 2 meals a day! Even though it was with a group of people I did not know, the thought of 'when would I ever get to go to Syria' kept coming into my mind and I made a mental note to email the contact soon as I got home to see if they had any more places available.  


With all luck, there was space and i joined this eager-beaver crowd of mainly 20somethings on what probably remains one of my most memorable trips. 

Below are some notes i took while on our group bus and as we traversed through different terrains in our 2 weeks there. 


"There is a certain truth that seems deep rooted in these (pre)-Abrahamic lands, a truth that speaks to you. You may not even know what it is but it speaks to you. The mesmerizing landscapes evoke a chord that may have laid dormant for a while and as you traverse through the desert, you witness the sights, sounds, smells, and are subjected to an exercise that definitely 'wakes up' the soul. 

We go through our lives feeding our minds and bodies, inadvertently forgetting or neglecting the soul. The nourishment for which is often aroused when it visits ancient lands strewn liberally with a universal historical heritage spanning centuries of livelihoods and existence. 

The faint sounds of qasidah which is humbling and touching -- Allahu-allahu-allahu-Allah (the incantation that goes up in pitch) and then Allahu-allahu-allahu-Allah (Going down in pitch) -- resonates with the temporarily forgotten chords residing deep within the heart. Now awakened ofcourse on no effort of mine; just by visual sights that awakens and speaks to the soul. Amazing. 
Credits to the handsome voice of Yusuf Islam telling us about the beauty of 'badru alaina' (the full moon appears up on us).


We visit the Castle of the Knights, locally known as Crac de Chevaliers and are amazed by the sturdy and overbearing architecture of centuries past. We become like little kids on a school trip examining the crevices, curves and texture of the columns, walls, fort platforms and wonder how war was carried out in the days of the past. We do this all in silence as each has their own mind working away trying to figure out meaning from what we saw. 


In our two weeks putting up near the Old City, we would frequent Ammara Souq* for food, and to buy things and to see the life of the locals. It led to Umayyad Mosque and the Al-Hamidiyah Souq. We visited the maqams (tombs) of the Prophet's (peace be upon him) wives, of Hazrat Bilal the famous first muezzin (the one who calls others to Prayer), of the Prophet's cousins, second cousins etc. 


We witness the marked site which reminds us of the Karbala Tragedy where in memory of the 19 heads which were sent back to the Muslims, there are 19 prayer skull-caps with Arabic inscriptions sewed into them. They are arranged in a neat display and looking at it, you are transformed to a time on how they must have been at the time of the Karbala Tragedy. It sends a chill through us. 


An image that stayed in our minds is the one outside Sayyida Ruqaiyah's Mosque. Everyday, we would see groups of shia muslims standing outside giving duas and observing a mini matam (breast-beating) sometimes. The women would be in all-black burqas and there were always more women and than men visible at this maqam. This is the site where the infant of Hazrat Husain was killed in the Karbala Tragedy and more information is at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sayyidah_Ruqayya_Mosque


The visit to the black and white tiled Khalid bin Walid's tomb inside the mosque was another visual treat. The mosque was beautiful and the asymmetrical designs left us speechless. Beautiful clean outdoor courtyards where you could easily imagine the spill over of the ummah (congregation/followers) praying during prayer times and doves in conversation and flight creating a stunning scene.  


An interesting encounter that i witnessed in this mosque was when I was about to pray, there was a lady praying such that the tomb was right in front of her. It was purposely situated right at the back of the mosque so that people would not pray behind the tomb. A mosque official pointed her out to me as she was in prayer and I was about to begin mine and I wondered what he was doing in the ladies section so I was a bit alert in case the curtain barrier was being removed etc. But he just pointed towards her, shaking his head and when I let out an unintentional sigh, he briefly laughed and kept shaking his head. The point was, prayer is offered to God, not tombs but people have colluded the practice over the years, especially in countries where mosques house the tombs. If a person without Islamic understanding were to witness the lady praying exactly behind the tomb, they may think ancestor worship is condoned in Islam. 


Tombs are places for the dead where we give fatiha (short prayer used for several occasions). Prayer to God is in a mosque but without obstruction preferably; not in front of tombs.   
_____________

At the Souq...
What pleased me when I went to the souqs was the kind of respectful looks we received as we walked through the marketplace. Not cheap, not leary, not trying to thrust a sale down your throat. I felt if this was because not many international tourists came to Damascus, majority were from the Saudi and Gulf states. So the shopkeepers were not money minded.  


Palmyra was another stunning place we went to - ruins dating back to 1st and 2nd Century A.D. The stories that accompany the structures were vivid and alive. For a comprehensive reading on this heritage site, please refer to http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/23 "


There were so many other experiences but I can't list them all here. The kind people we met, the hospitality we experienced, the simplicity we witnessed and the purity of the souls in places which provide little entertainment, were all rich experiences for us. I am so thankful to the invite I received to go to the Arab Association for the sufi programme (Prof Syed Farid Alattas) and to the girl who thrust the flier in my hand and to the organisers who fit me in - so I was able to make this trip. SubhanAllah - you all were part of making this journey for me. Thank you. 


 * souq is a reference to a marketplace
_________________
Some pics can be viewed at
http://picasaweb.google.com/fmukri/SyriaTheSights02# and 
http://picasaweb.google.com/fmukri/SyriaTheLocals# and http://picasaweb.google.com/fmukri/SyriaTheSuakuVisitors#
 

from Rumi's Mathnawi

"When the full moon shines on a clear night
What would it have to fear of the dogs or their barking?
The dogs continue to do what they are supposed to do
And the moon continues to beautify the face of the night.

A bit of weed floats on water
Yet the water does not lose its purity
Mustafa* splits the moon in half
While Abu Lahab utters silly curses.

Jesus revives the dead
While his enemies pull their beards put of hatred.
The sound of the dog never reaches the ear of the Moon
If that moon is a friend of God."


* Referring to prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, whose other name is Mustafa, or the chosen one, and to his miracle of splitting the moon in half, as mentioned in the chapter 'The Moon' (Sura Al Qamar: 54) of the Quran.



From M J Rumi, Mathnawi "The Candy Seller Child (The Debtor Sheikh)".

A traveller's farewell

a thousand words written
a thousand miles travelled
a thousand faces scanned
a thousand smiles felt
the heart records these
tacitly -
securely fastened by
the seatbelt of time

alas it is the hour
for the soul in flight
to fly... and
to return - inshaAllah
determined only by
the hands of fate
yet the written word of
the writer within
leaves beautiful memories
to safeguard and behold
farewell sweet land
i leave -
with a kiss of thanks.

~ Copyrighted by Fern

The Leaf that Refuses to Fall

Your gentle smile, your softest of sighs
your quiet but steady footedness
the impatience to love boldly
the rebellion to behold...

the tinge of regret in me
announces a desire unmet
to live frivolously
as you often voiced
to not be afraid of
what anyone thinks

to live upon the wave of adventure
to dare to dream to take on
I take these lessons from you m'dear
in the hope of extraditing all fear

and as I choose to walk on my path
I fondly recall you, my tender half
for in my heart remains
a leaf refusing to fold
to the colour of fall
cos it stubbornly loves
your presence so and prays
in every similitude of hope
that your heart's mind
may chance this way again

alas alas a mortal wishes
mortal ends
for infinite Love is
beyond a beginning
and beyond an end
if only, if ONLY
our hearts' vision bends.

Thoughts of a 20 yr old

This is from a journal entry written in uni days.

"There she was sitting on the edge
of the lowly built well -
whose curvature slightly resembling
the soft turns of her humble anatomy.

Peering intensely down
the depth of darkness
she feels desolate and disillusioned
weighed down to a hundredth of a fraction.

Conscience, her constant companion
had suddenly deserted her
and its rival- the unconscious
had impetously taken over

so there she sat
wide-eyed
throwing small round pebbles
watching the circular whirls -
a fixed gaze
not understanding
not wanting to understand...
those concentric circles
Make her head spin
round and round
and round... and round
Snap!
The monotony of the concentricity
is disturbed lavishly
a mynah has come to
quench her thirsty desire
and a soft feather falls -

the scent of the lush green grass
and the musical cacophony
of delicate creatures
emerge magically

The lively misé-en-scene
confronts her silence
how nature is so gay and free
displaces her desolation
and she wanders to another plane."

~ farheen Mukri

Time passing - A Bunch of Rocks

I just loved this :) hehee

Rumi's Inspiration

"There is a tradition that Muhammad said, 'A wise man will listen and be led by a woman while an ignorant man will not.' Someone too fiercely drawn by animal urges lacks kindness and the gentle affections that keep men human.

Anger and sharp desiring are animal qualities. A loving tenderness toward women shows someone no longer pulled along by wanting. The core of the feminine comes directly as a ray of the sun. Not the earthy figure you hear about in love songs; there's more to her mystery than that. You might say she's not from the manifest at all, but the creator of it."
~ The Soul of Rumi, Translation by Coleman Barks
Pic: Courtesy of Kirtida Mekani

With Love from Capetown

I'm loving it! :)

Capetown that is with gail winds and all. On Sat the day after I arrived, there was top of the news of these bitter harsh winds - and boy were they strong. But hey I braved it - hahaha. And while getting blown away by the wind is not something I experience but it was fun :) Took pics of waves with water crashing down on the beach where we were all standing and the foam stretching its width and breadth all across the coastal road! Wow what a spectacle. Will have to put up the pics soon.

Meanwhile Table Mountain is covered with cloud mostly and every now and then the clouds will clear and the sun would peak out and give us a glistening view leaving one to ooh and ahh...
Durban was so different - far more peaceful weather-wise but also in my view a lot less exciting because of that. However I did spot a Bollywood shoot - seemed like a B grade movie..

And I saw several wonderful sceneries and game reserves and animals and skies that make your heart smile. Drove down to the rugged South coast which saw those magnificent waves as well - there was a place called Splash Rock - which literally splashed ocean water on this huge rock - wow and all the fishermen were carefully lining that edge of the rock.

Also saw this fascinating ritual of an African woman being baptised by sea water - she was all dressed in her white satin finery and other women and men stood behind and watched. The 'priest' then poured the gushing strong sea water on her as she held on to sand with shivers and courage written on her face.
I was also taken see a Zulu dance and the views of the vistas in the distance would every now and then distract me from the dancers... later the zulu women took pics with me :) Must upload. Someone pls remind me.

Here in Capetown there is a strong Malay community - but wah, so different from the Malays in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia. They all look similar but hardly know any Malay - or identify with the malay culture.
I have gone up to several Malay looking pple - finally feeling I cld recognise someon familiarity but alamak, they can't resonate back. Darn. Trying to get even a simple word like 'Makan' out of them is impossible! hahaah

But their houses very colourful - reminds me of the Melayu spirit around Hari Raya - back home. Have bought a book on the Malay Community here. They are called the Bo Kaap. (More like 'bo chap' if you ask me) haha. No offence. ;)
MashaAllah South Africa is a beautiful place.
I am returning next week to Singaland and things will resume I know... But I MUST write up proper travelogues of my trips with pics.

Must go. I send love and blessings of ramadan!

Hujambo from Tanzania!

hujambo! - Sijambo ;) merhaba! Nzuri ... ;) these are the greetings you hear all the time - everyone greets everyone else when you pass them on the track/road etc.

I'm in Arusha now in a decent house so it has electricity, and a hot bath. And full meals.,
Out in the village i was struggling to get a fire going with firewood - refusing to use kerosene to help ignite as my training I felt had been to use it traditionally. And I'm proud to say i got a fire going, yay! hehe So happy - we cooked all our meals in this outdoor kitchen - which had a couple of windows but the squatting kind where you fan the flames within a stone etched 'stove' of sorts. There were two iron rods that can be moved on the top of the opening to allow a pot/saucepan to sit on. The secondary school boys and older who hung around our 'camp' would come and chat with us to practise their english - pretty good standard!

The village is called Mbaaseni (pronounce everything pl). And it's predominantly christian - lutheran. Distances bet villages and houses were long and I'm getting fit walking around everywhere. bicycles seem to be a luxury but am trying to get one. we have an oil lantern and candles and several torchlights. It's quite an exp. Just outside the house is a grave (marked with a cross) and on day 3 i noticed there's another one ( more raw) kinda perpendicular to it. It says RIP and a date of 2005 as passing date. The only thing is I have to pass this grave everytime i need to go to the outdoor toilet (dunny). It's creepy late at night cos no elec so you have to walk with just a torchlight and well you know the rest. So i'm trying to 'do my toilet' thing before it gets too late or drag a friend to stand outside the toilet while I am in there! hahaha See your dearest fudge is not so brave afterall.

The flip side of all this is the heartwarming smiles, acceptance of the villagers, mamas (older woman who are married&mothers - they are given a lot of respect in society) and the teachers and farmers who constantly help you along with your smattering swahili. It's fun to learn and similar to arabic! nice. :)

They grow lots of maize, banana, avocado (not ripened yet - darn!) and so many vegges it's pure joy to try out the salads. The bird life is fantastic! every morning i hear different birds - have heard the night jar. saw the Sacred Ibis (gorgeous stork like bird). oh and ofcourse forgot to mention that I've been seeing Kilimanjaro every day when it's clear. today is cloudy. But gosh when it is clear, what a magnificent sight! SubhanAllah - breathtaking.

The other nice thing is having made local friends - one in Dar es salaam who calls me almost every night to see how I'm going. She's an architect I met on flight from Doha to Nairobi. we clicked and may travel to zanzibar together. Another couple of friends in Arusha who are also volunteering and the big plus is I'm meeting my niece from Oregon here as she's spending her summer volunteering with me. After this email, we are walking down to Taj's Curry to have pani puri. Oh and there are so many yeendians here but very different from the indians back in SG. These are all 'africanised' hahaha they speak like africans and seem well blended in. At the border from Kenya to tanzania i saw some paki looking guys to whom I said salam to. There seems to be a pak community in Dar and Arusha too apparently as Ismail tells me.

The Underwater World

My 4 day solo getaway to Lombok proved to be so different than what I had envisioned. No doubt it wasn't far from expectations but isn't it amazing how the human heart desires and what God disposes. And then we are only in a position to accept it. And work with it.

Kira Kira turned out to be a fantastic choice for accomodation - i felt blessed that even in my short time away i met someone there who spoke Arabic! Allahu bi rahmah - considering i had just done Level One exam for Arabic at Al Markaz and 2 days later was off to Lombok, without the girls (who had planned to go away wth me but cldn't at the last min) and voila there I was - smack middle of Gili Air (pronounced gheelee Aye-ir) to snorkel and dive and i shd have the fortune to meet Sofie. Sophie is from Lombok but looked chinese and dayak mixed. She had lived in saudi for a few yrs and could speak Arabic. Taka and Masako (both Muslims) shared with me her plight later. Sophie was 8 months pregnant and her husband had just left her a few months ago. She was a cleaning lady for some Japanese families in Lombok when Taka had met her and later decided to employ her at the resort to help her with finances. Ofcourse the worry now was how was she going to manage in her pre- during and post pregnancy phases. Late nights were not easy for her as guests would come in to the resort at any time and ask for tea/coffee and food. Even late night they cooked for us. It's business for them.

So Sophie and I became friends over sunrise walks - and practised our Arabic with one another :) Pure joy.

I have decided to organise some zakat from Singapore to be sent to her - Taka was telling me she wont be able to work with a few months old baby in tow. And she has no other form of income - parents dont have money/income, take money from her, husband doesn't give maintenance. (Typical of men in similar scenarios - i spoke to several island folk and found many cases were like this. They would be having affairs and mistreating their wives. Even the tour guide I had my initial contact with was telling me when I asked if he was married he said yes with two children but he didn't like going home. So he worked longer hours and 'fooled around'. When i asked him why he did that he said he was 'enjoying life'.) It's amazing how quickly i lose my respect for pple who say such things and with such casualness.

Later on Gili Air I met another person - a bar tender. I was walking on a hot day looking for Indonesian food. Came to the last hut where again on the menu i saw only sandwiches, chips etc... which I had no deisre to eat. The bar tender by then had asked me where I was from and said smthg which pleased me - he said "Welcome to my country". Usually having travelled in these countries where people yell out to you a nationality they think you are, it becomes tiring to be called 'India!' (i have given up explaining the Pak-Singapore connection). You take on a nationality! So when this guy didn't yell out a country to me, I actually turned and had a conversation with him. He also offered to get me nasi bunggus (local food, rice with small fish, some cabbage/veggies) and we talked about several things. One of which was on serving alcohol being muslim and he said everyone did it, everyone drank. I was surprised he would give me an answer as that.

So that saw the long conversation i had with this chappie extending into niat, actions, words, iman and you name it we went and discussed at great length. In the middle of all this a very senior man looking half-aboriginal, joined us. He shared how the local Muslims were on the island. The boss of the pub was a muslim man and the young chappie I was speaking to said it was required of his job to taste the cocktails before they are served. So he drank but 'a little'. Again our conversation stretched over many horizons. I wondered what the difference was in saying "I partook in a crime (I didnt really participate in the ___[eg rape] but watched from a distance)" and actually carrying it out. We talked abt what the main message was on alcohol. It was very clear. What is made forbidden for you, do not make it permissible. You can't mince that.

I told him he was such an intelligent guy i didn't see him as a bartender for long. He then shared with me his plans to run his own business with his brother - operating boats.

We talked more and the old man interrupted and said the night before he had a dream where he saw a girl talking to the young chappie over things that many others had tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen. Yet this time round he listened to this female. SubhanAllah i felt i was put in that situation for a reason.

3 days later that young chap had decided (entirely on his own) he was going back to Bali where his family was and fix up his business plans. He had felt some movement within him which is what I'm always hoping for in the young people i do the youth training workshops with - and alhamdulillah he had made some decisions for his own future.

Meanwhile my highlight of the holiday lay several meters under water - mashaAllah what a spectrum of marine life - every trip I make whether is it to the Perhentians (Malaysia), to Tunku Abdul Rahman Marine Park off Kota Kinabalu, Sabah (northern Borneo), or off Mersing (East of Peninsular Malaysia) i see different alive things and all sooo beautiful. This time I had the fortune of borrowing my friend's underwater camera and although it was my first time using it and had it firmly clasped onto me and around my wrist some of the shots are not so clear.

The homely turtle who swam in front of me for a good 5 minutes and i didn't lose sight of her/him cos it came surfacing to the top and going down again - sweet angel. All this time watching me from the corner of its eye :) it made me smile and I felt comforted in my heart. Like this we saw several other turtles - HUGE ones... but so unafraid of humans. Must be the tourist/traveller element.

And the myriad of fishes, razor fish, clown fish, silver fish, baby reef sharks then the marine lief - anemones, sponges, tubes, corals, nudi branchs... the list is endless. All so awe-gaping and wonderful.

After every underwater session it humbles you immensely to live above the land. We forget there is a life under there, all so teeming and active. Wonderful, mashaAllah.

Pics can be seen at the facebook link. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=609831819&aid=69188

Post script: 2010 - The young bar tender chappie had tried doing his boat business with his brother for 1.5 yrs and then returned to Lombok to get work again.

The KL escapades

It’s sooo good to be in KL again! It is almost exactly a year since I was last here. Coming to KL is such a reality check for Singaporeans – this is real Asia. Malaysian tourism got it right first time round – Malaysia, Truly Asia. It hits you when you walk the sidewalks, skirt around loosely covered potholes with cardboard lids, puddles of water (err, water or urine? Err, we won’t go there!) in corners of buildings, crossing the road, stopping a bus/cab etc.


Clutching your friend’s arm when attempting to cross the road, and there are two ways to do this: 1) Asian style, walk as if it’s your grandfather’s road, without looking at the traffic (er u need to be brave and experienced to do this. Do not attempt this at home (I mean your home country) or 2) grabbing friend’s arm and tossing between do we or do we not cross now. This can be most frustrating when one person is trying to ape Option 1 and the other insists on Option 2.


One lil annoying development in SG to KL travels is along the way from SG-KL, the rise of the Malaysian market to cater to the Singaporean fancy! Yikes. I remember when I was in Secondary School, we would visit Malaysia and enjoy the fact that everything cost in RM and at M’sian standards. Now it’s in RM no less, but at Singaporean standards! Whyyyyy??Cos Singaporeans lay that demand forth – consciously or unconsciously. The rest-stop at Yong Peng is becoming SOOO Singaporeanised (and yes I’m aware Singaporeans own perhaps ¾ of the place), that today I noticed the entire crowd that was taking a pit stop there was non Malaysian. The locals don’t stop here anymore. See lah. Smart.


We had taken Gunung Raya (which although sounds Malay[sian], is probably SG owned as well). My previous trips have been on Malaysian coaches (by choice but it’s almost more leceh (troublesome) as u have to board them on the Johor side of the border. The Malaysian coaches stop at different pit stops than the SG ones… hmm. One wonders why. Not rocket science.We pay for the convenience and it makes market forces go up! Dang. I know for a fact there is a steady sizeable no. of Singaporeans who visit KL on a weekly basis. This has existed from time forgone. The links between the two belie their pre-generational bond. (Aside: I have written a play in 1998, which is set in the Yr 2000, predicting life of Singaporeans and Malaysians if a merger of occurred between the two. It’s a comical take on stereotypes of the two countries. As yet, unpublished. Any interest, email me and I’ll send you a copy!)


Besides the higher prices, the service seems to be going downhill, so different from the ‘asian way’ you get in Thailand, most of Malaysia (sans Johor Bahru!), Cambodia, Lao. I smiled at every service person I met and only got acknowledged glances from the coach drivers. The ladies behind the food service counters – forget it. But today in KL, in Nandos, and on the roadside Ayam Pangeng stalls, what a different world – Malaysians serve with a smile from the heart. Heartwarming.


We offered sweets to the lil kid behind us on the bus (Chinese Singaporean). U know what – as soon as my hand extended towards him, like any child he grabbed the sweets; but worse didn’t say thanks. I smiled at the childlike excitement and before I cld do the adult-policing thing, his grandma and mom both chucked lots of thank yous to me.. but I would have loved to have a thank you from the child (he was at least 6 yrs old!) Kids are the bane of a society. They tell us how well the parents are in their akhlaq (manner and conduct). I was in Australia camping for over a month and every child I met was taught good manners. Even in Pakistan, in the lift in shopping centres, children would be polite and speak to you with courtesy and respond! But Singapore, ha, you’re wishing for the world!


And we blame the education system. Com’on guys, not rocket science again.


Day 1 has been relaxing, taking in the city in small doses. My friend and I believe on a holiday one should do nothing. So we did that today - it was wonderful doing nothing. We got so much out of it :) More later.


20 Nov:
We have been having Rumi for company at our breakfasts and it's been wonderful! So heartwarming the poetry. Feel inspired by the writings and I cld so and should so use that urge to write snippets on observations etc. Will share some Rumi thoughts on Facebook perhaps :)

Future Environment in Peril

http://news.sg.msn.com/topstories/article.aspx?cp-documentid=873932#toolbar

Save the planet? It's now or never, warns landmark UN report

Humanity is changing Earth's climate so fast and devouring resources so voraciously that it is poised to bequeath a ravaged planet to future generations, the UN warned Thursday in its most comprehensive survey of the environment.

The fourth Global Environment Outlook (GEO-4), published by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP), is compiled by 390 experts from observations, studies and data garnered over two decades.

The 570-page report -- which caps a year that saw climate change dominate the news -- says world leaders must propel the environment "to the core of decision-making" to tackle a daily worsening crisis

"The need couldn't be more urgent and the time couldn't be more opportune, with our enhanced understanding of the challenges we face, to act now to safeguard our own survival and that of future generations," GEO-4 said.

The UNEP report offers the broadest and most detailed tableau of environmental change since the Brundtland Report, "Our Common Future," was issued in 1987 and put the environment on the world political map.

"There have been enough wake-up calls since Brundtland. I sincerely hope GEO-4 is the final one," said UNEP Executive Director Achim Steiner.

"The systematic destruction of the Earth's natural and nature-based resources has reached a point where the economic viability of economies is being challenged -- and where the bill we hand on to our children may prove impossible to pay," he added.

Earth has experienced five mass extinctions in 450 million years, the latest of which occurred 65 million years ago, says GEO-4.

"A sixth major extinction is under way, this time caused by human behaviour," it says.

Over the past two decades, growing prosperity has tremendously strengthened the capacity to understand and confront the environmental challenges ahead.

Despite this, the global response has been "woefully inadequate," the report said.

The report listed environmental issues by continent and by sector, offering dizzying and often ominous statistics about the future.

Climate is changing faster than at any time in the past 500,000 years.

Global average temperatures rose by 0.74 degrees Celsius (1.33 Fahrenheit) over the past century and are forecast to rise by 1.8 to four C (3.24-7.2 F) by 2100, it said, citing estimates issued this year by the 2007 Nobel Peace co-laureates, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

With more than six billion humans, Earth's population is now so big that "the amount of resources needed to sustain it exceeds what is available," the report warned, adding that the global population is expected to peak at between eight and 9.7 billion by 2050.

"In Africa, land degradation and even desertification are threats; per capita food production has declined by 12 percent since 1981," it said.

The GEO-4 report went on to enumerate other strains on the planet's resources and biodiversity.

Fish consumption has more than tripled over the past 40 years but catches have stagnated or declined for 20 years, it said.

"Of the major vertebrate groups that have been assessed comprehensively, over 30 percent of amphibians, 23 percent of mammals and 12 percent of birds are threatened," it added.

Stressing it was not seeking to present a "dark and gloomy scenario", UNEP took heart in the successes from efforts to combat ozone loss and chemical air pollution.

But it also stressed that failure to address persistent problems could undo years of hard grind.

And it noted: "Some of the progress achieved in reducing pollution in developed countries has been at the expense of the developing world, where industrial production and its impacts are now being exported."

GEO-4 -- the fourth in a series dating back to 1997 -- also looks at how the current trends may unfold and outlines four scenarios to the year 2050: "Markets First", "Policy First", "Security First", "Sustainability First".

After a year that saw the UN General Assembly devote unprecedented attention to climate change and the Nobel Peace Prize awarded to the IPCC and former US vice president Al Gore for raising awareness on the same issue, the report's authors called for radical change.

"For some of the persistent problems, the damage may already be irreversible," they warned.

"The only way to address these harder problems requires moving the environment from the periphery to the core of decision-making: environment for development, not development to the detriment of environment."