27 June 2011

3 Ways to Practice Patience at work (from Care2 website)


The following is an article on Care2 website that i felt was worthy of sharing :)
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I sometimes think that Zen students and entrepreneurs are the most patient, and at the same time the least patient, people. Zen students spend long hours, days, and years, sitting, facing a wall, expecting nothing. Entrepreneurs spend a tremendous amount of time, energy, and money planning and working without knowing the results of their efforts. While Zen students and entrepreneurs exhibit great patience they are equally impatient when it comes to accepting anything less than perfection.
Basho, a Zen poet, wrote:
Fleas, lice
The horse pissing
Near my pillow
This poem describes the rawness of Basho’s life and his ability to describe things just the way they are. My poem for today could be something like:
Email not working
Employees out sick
Little accomplished
Our lives at work are filled with difficulty. People are late for meetings. Our ideas are not met with enthusiasm. Computers crash, restart, and crash again. Other people don’t meet our expectations. Our overnight package is lost. Relationships become impossible. Cash shortages are threatening, and businesses fail. Patience requires that we fully and directly face our difficulties, that we embrace and learn from situations and from our feelings about them. Owning and transforming our pain and disappointment can be a tremendous challenge, as well as a tremendous gift.
Patience is what connects the entrepreneurial spirit required in business with facing the truth of what is actually required in Zen practice. It takes patience to face the truth of where we are in our work lives. The truth may include the pain of not meeting expectations, a variety of messy and challenging situations facing us each day, as well the possibilities of transformation and great accomplishment.
Zen describes several kinds of patience that can be practiced at work: acceptance of difficulty and hardship, not acting hastily, and acceptance of what is true. Let’s explore these.
Acceptance of difficulty. Our lives at work can be transformed when we completely accept that difficulty is to be expected and cannot be avoided. This doesn’t mean we take the negative attitude of “what will go wrong today?” Instead, we just pay attention to our own state of mind. We make our best effort. We meet each situation as it arises.
Not acting hastily. Given how difficult, unpredictable, and stressful our work lives can be, it is easy to respond quickly and impatiently. In difficult situations, just stop, think, and look more carefully at what really is the cause of the difficulty. When your computer crashes you can get upset and yell at whoever is in charge of your computer systems. Or, when your computer crashes, what if you just stop, take a breath, and notice your breathing, notice what is around you.
Acceptance of what is true. Most of our impatience comes from our wanting things to be different from what they are. Our overnight package did not arrive overnight. This is just true. There is nothing we can do to change what is. We can take actions to expedite the package’s delivery, but this action includes accepting what is difficult, not acting hastily, and accepting what is true.
Some questions:
When are you patient and when you are impatient at work?
What is most difficult for you at work?
What part of this difficulty do you create?
How can you transform this difficulty?
Adapted from Z.B.A. Zen of Business Administration.
Marc Lesser is CEO of ZBA Associates LLC, a company providing executive coaching, leadership development consulting, and keynote speaking services to businesses and non-profits. He is a developer and instructor of Google’s Search Inside Yourself program. Marc was the founder and former CEO of Brush Dance publishing. Marc is a Zen teacher with an MBA degree; a former resident of the San Francisco Zen Center for 10 years, and graduate of NYU’s Stern School of Business. He is the author of Less: Accomplishing More By Doing Less and Z.B.A. Zen of Business Administration.

11 June 2011

Fifty years of a bitter-sweet union

They did it! Fifty long years of trudging along the marital path, of putting up with one another, of biting their tongue and being patient when the tendency was to just yell out at the other, of reminding themselves the bigger picture meant holding the fabric of the family together and staying together. 


Mom and dad celebrated their 50th anniversary this past weekend (June 2011) and I felt a glowing sense of pride and pleasure as I celebrated it with them. 


Their request had been simple - just a simple chaat* outing at East Coast Park. So we packed 2 flasks of chai, grabbed two picnic mats, some of my traveller-friendly cups, and off we went to the beach. We packed our own chai because the one served in public places is so sweet and if you say 'no sugar', it's so bland and bitter. So to satiate mom and dad's chai desire, we made it at home and off we went. I was blessed to have a car in those days and with God's grace, managed to find a parking spot close to the beach area so mom needn't walk for miles. 


I had invited my cousin Sarim along and he was then newly arrived in Singapore.  So it was fun! Sarim and I went to buy all the chaat samaan from nearby Komala Vilas. And as the beach became crowded, we dug into it and had a small family circle enjoying the sunset and the evening. As dusk overtook everyone's agenda, it was mesmerising to be at the beach and watch planes take off from Changi in the distance or ships on the horizon. Lovely evening light. Kids were flying their kites and several malay and indian families were coming out of the sea after casual play in the water.


Mom and dad, I'm so proud of you two. Despite all the difficulties we have all faced as a family, you have shown by example that patience, love, acceptance are powerful tools that hold the family together. Much more than Phds, career successes or money. I remain forever grateful to your persistence at life and its challenges. May we all learn a lesson or two from your example :) Ameen. 


May you always have health, wealth (of iman and daily existence), and rewards always and always. May all your duas be accepted and my love remains with you always. 


Thank you for your dedication and sacrifice!
Much love from your daughter     


*Chaat - a collection of South-Asian snacks often eaten at late afternoon tea time.