Goodbye Ramadan, Hello Eid

Children respond to love. They see not race, age, appearance. It's a simple response - to the Love from within. To Acceptance. When the child's heart connects with ours, you know you have hit home! :) God bless lil children. My last two weeks of Ramadan allowed me to get into that fold of society we (Internet-accessible generation) normally hear about vaguely but not have much to do with. I saw these wonderful children in Lengkok Bahru, one of Singapore's poorest areas.

Every year i would make some calls to find out where to best part with my zakat. There was a year I remember I went to great trouble just to transfer money to a theatre-journalist in Ramallah, Palestine. Soon after I had transferred the money, the place was bombed... I always wondered if the zakat money ever reached her. It was for the lil children who didn't have enough as their families struggled with day to day necessities. (Update: a few months ago, a theatre group from Jordan came to Singapore and i went to watch the play. I went with my Palestinian friend Nadia. After the play, Nadia wanted to meet the cast - it had been a powerfully moving play so we spoke to the organisers and asked to meet the cast. After the usual 'suspect' mentality, [read:'what exactly do u want to do with our cast? kinda looks] we were allowed to meet them backstage. In the socialising, witnessed closely by local Singaporeans (i wondered why they hung around, so protectively) and the exchange of cards, I discovered the cast members knew the journo I had sent my zakat to, many yrs ago. The most relieving news was she was alive and well and still doing theatre for the many traumatised children of Ramallah, Palestine. I was so comforted and conveyed my salaams for her. I know somehow my zakat had reached her. The yr would have been 2001.]

This year I got a phone call telling me there was a family of 10 surviving in a tent by East Coast beach! Ouch. Unable to pay their bills for over 3 months, they were evicted. Dad earns $400 a month and mom is having a worrying anxious spell of sickness. Sigh. Out of 10 kids, 2 are passed to mom's sister, so now 8 kids and their parents are in the tent. So some zakat went to this family.

Another case was a single mother with 2 small kids who had been living out of her niece's home (niece was married and had a spare room) for almost a year while her divorced husband refused to pay maintenance or move out of the flat she had paid for. So a year later, she manages to get her own place, a small one bedroom appt. I went to visit and pass some zakat. Walking into this mature estate was very telling. The people hanging around the shops below stared at me even before I approached the set of flats. They cld tell I was not from there. All these blocks are one room flats. I often wondered if it was a good idea to park all the one room flats together... After all, one person's dirty linen would soon become public laundry... hmm.

So my eyes were opened to the throes of Lengkok Bahru. I had gone past it before but never thru it. Now I know. and so many people live in these one room appts. Families, mind you not successful singles.

The passing of Ramadan was an emotional time ~ like the moments before maghrib when the last light of Ramadan leaves - ouch, i felt so heavy, and just 5 minutes past 7pm (just after maghrib) i broke down and cried uncontrollably. Couldn't figure it out. Cried and cried... so sad, so heavy, like I hadn't done enough - the month had come and gone.

There was no mood to celebrate. Well Allah connects to all his creations in mysterious ways. The takbir had started, in all the mosques, then the thought, that all over the world, at maghrib that day, the same takbir would be recited in throngs, in groups, wow the gell of the brotherhood.

The explosion of emotion continued... i cldn't do much else, except cry and feel connected to Allah - an hour later, I managed to find inner calm. Spoke to a few friends... and it was comforting. I had intentioned to go to the makham of Habib Noh the next day for Eid prayers. And I was glad I did - went with 2 other friends. It was a moving service. Choked with emotion, the imam and then respectively the congregation responded to the soulful call of remembrance of Allah, the oneness, our deeds, conscious living, and reciprocity of our actions.

During the Eid sermon, something the imam said made me silently intend to visit the elderly home where the Muslim ederly folk wd be marking eid as well. So after the Eid prayers, a friend and I headed to Jamiyah Elderly Home in West Coast. What was to await us there was beyond expectation. My friend decided to donate her zakat there while I had bought some food stuff to be distributed. But arriving there, we had taken so long that it was just past midday and it was lunch time. The two nurses on every floor were taking turns feeding the residents. The natural thing was to offer to help. And we did. I ended up feeding lunch (it was bubor) to a 87yr old lady. It was so humbling, I had to hold my emotions back, as I wiped extra food bits that wd stick around her lips. Like feeding a baby, only thing was this lady would keep asking "saya nak kopi. Saya nak biskut". They had fresh watermelon juice and she drank all of it. We couldn't communicate much except I cld see she was hungry. She needed to be moved in her sitting position and held. every now and then she looked into my eyes. It was very touching. Obviously she was not allowed kopi+biskut. her bed tag said Diabetic. I wondered how not even on Eid or any other day, wd they be given what they desired.

Upon retrospection, there are things u let go off and move on, and there are things you love, hold and value. And u still move on. Then there's purification within. U cleanse and live, cleanse and live. Everyday a renewal process. Life within is your only reminder that change is continual and that time is temporary - all else will fade as well. That this whole existence is meant to just last an appointed time. Ira said smthg recently, that stuck: that all that is created will be destroyed. How very true. The fact that it was created means it will see an end. So do we then not believe in eternity? is that just a concept? For this life, I'll take it as temporary and has an end.

But here's food for thought: As long as we can think it, imagine it, visualise it, then it's possible and will/can happen. So if we can imagine eternity, then it can happen. However since we have seen how everything comes to an end (life & death), nothing is for permanent then eternity is not for this life...

Hmm, your thoughts and comments are most welcomed :)