kabr'estans

I'm so glad that my practise of visiting kabrestans is such a dedicated practise despite all these years of living away from Pakistan.

A visit to the khandan's kabrestan is such an important and timely reminder - about life, death, family, unity, relations, spirituality, mortality, Divine essence, returning back to source...etc.

We live our lives and then we become a mark on a graveyard stone. We are remembered by the kind blessings and prayers of people who visit kabrestans, their duas and flowers left by our graves. The birds chirp by our graves and sometimes strong sturdy trees grow from our middle. Some flower and some just provide shade.

I loved visiting the Sakhi Hassan kabrestan in Karachi because that is where a lot of my close family is buried, including mom's sheikh, John Gilbert Leonord (Hazrat Shaheedullah Fareedi) who leaves behind a rich lineage of murids visiting his shrine dutifully. There's a huge misunderstanding amongst many people that visiting or respecting these sufi practitioners/saints is not Islamic.

Surely, it is one's intent that matters most and lies at the root of all belief. There is no shirk if as humans we place God ABOVE all else and not collude our beliefs mixing up on where our piety and prayer lie.

Khair, to each his/her own. I have deep and uttermost respect for the silsila that mom has been in and I don't see any bida'a (innovation) in the practise of respecting others who have propagated the Love for Allah through their life's course.

May Hazrat saheb's soul and that of my family's passed members rest in peace and may Allah provide ease for all passed souls. Ameen.

A lesson in Patience & some v sweet mangoes

well, it would have been the epitome of my experiences here so far - but the ordeal we went thru y'day (Sunday) tested us at our very core.

Firstly, it was an unusually hot day (hotest was on Friday at 44 deg C) Gosh. On Sat, day time, I saw the temp guage and it was 41 deg. No wind. Then it got so hot that it finally rained down on the land - phew! Hot heavy raindrops and i bared them on my neck, back and head - such a wonderful respite in this sweaty balmy heat. It rained so hard. The winds went crazy, a sandstorm developed. It wasn't fun anymore. Sand gtg in your eyes and you're wondering hang on, you're supposed to be rain, not sand... what the... but no time to react. Just get in. The winds knocked down some old coconut branches that had been dangling by nature's grace. The rain pelted down hard against the purple and white pansies bush making them kneel forward onto the 3 ft walkway that leads to our verandah door.

Then they stopped and the humidity returned. All this with no electricity. We lost electricity at abt 4.30pm and we didn't have power till 5.30am the next morning! Man, a test of patience, utterance, moodiness, tolerance with one's surrounds, family members u name it. We had dinner by faint candle light cos it just so happened that we had run out of candles and were left with tea lights and a couple of lovely scented candles i had brought for the family from DC. We rationed on the UPS which only runs for 4 hours after a blackout and provides energy for two fans and some essential lights.

It was an uncomfortable night but I truly now understand what people go through when they dont have electricity - and theirs is a day to day affair. Mom and i slept right by the flywire and i kept the door wide open and the slight sways of gentle breeze lifted a sound from us every now and then. Relief. Yet the majority of the night turned to absolute humidity, heat from the ground emanating - the earth had had enough too, probably - and the already thin clothes sticking to our bodies. We woke up a few times and each time were in disbelief that only a little time had passed, from the previous time we awoke. Once we awoke at 2.45am and both of us thougt it would be at least 4 or 4.30am. We moved to the inner rooms (me back to my room and mom back to hers where dad was) and managed to find some respite in the slight breeze. At fajr time, I prayed and felt the discomfort on my body and an inner voice prayed for this unease to be lifted away from us. I was soo down, what had been bothering me was how refugees survived in survival camps, not just for days but for years!~Gosh what an ordeal. And how pple evicted from their homes felt - once where they had the comfort of their own homes to be subjected to a mass ball of abusive power and moved out to some unknown place, children away fromtheir safe regularity of life, women away from their simpole abodes where they made life livable for their families and men outraged at being forcibly pushed out of their self-made homes. That bothered me. How they must have to bear the heat, the non-electricity cos of some stupid war, making some country look 'powerful' (ha).

It was with this thought that, that simple prayer was made - that this be lifted from us and then for all those suferring this daily. I do not exaggerate, but within 5 minutes, i heard a sound. The fan in the neighbour's house started moving. I trained my ears and realised what it was. And the first thought, ahh, the elec power is back! Alhamdulillah. Then very slowly things in our house started showing signs of electrical power. You cannot imagine my relief, but slowly I went room by room, made it to the kitchen [the fridge had suffered the most - you can imagine, melted ice creams, thawed meats, stews, thawed mint chutney, soft naan bread, etc]. The fridge has a signal when it's turned on, so I turned that sound off. Dad was going through his duas and the fans we had left on in the different places were going. It had been a full 13 hours. But my prayer was heard ;)

Next morning in the newspapers and TV news, it was reported that over 40 pple were killed by lightning of the previous day - what I had thought was sweet joy of the land being cooled and in the process us too, had killed people. Others were struck by billboards. It had been worse than we could imagine. Roads were glugged by rainwater mixed with some bad sewage which had overflowed. Eeeu. Another realisation that you were in 'third world' Asia. It's a 'third world' in that it's different - neither first world nor developing (second). It's Third alright man. But look at Malaysia, it pulled itself out of third world status in just 30 years. It managed cos it wanted to.

It's now 2 days later: Tuesday 26 June. It's been raining loads. My room is the breeziest. Right now I dont need the fan on, cos it's soo cool from the after-rain mood. The rooster next door is singing again. Hmm, the cats have all disappeared. Poor babies, wonder where they have sought shelter, esp the pregnant one who was comfy and safe in our side porch.

I'm off to Islamabad tomorrow, 27th. Then on to Mansehra, where i'll volunteer for a couple of weeks. Then squeeze in some trekking in the famed kaghan valley and inshaAllah make it further to Skardu (pronounced Skarrr-doo, not 'scar-doo') if possible.

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/ISL168823.htm (We made it to Reuters Net!)

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The flipside of all this madness has been the indulgence in mangoes - all kinds! And I've even learnt the names of these :) Sindhri, Serelli, Chausa, Anwar Ratol (my favourite), Dasseri, Langhra... Every day is a mango affair :) Yum. And they don't cost me a dollar fifty each! hooray. More like a dollar for a kilo! Yes eat your heart out peoples :) hehehe

The Crescent Moon & Venus

A rare phenomenon occurred on Monday night soon after Maghrib (sunset). I happened to be sitting in the verandah (which has a fly-wire sheeting to allow breeze to come in and yet is sheltered from the top) as it was humid inside the house. And happened to glance up into the sky through the slightly swaying coconut leaves – voila what a splendid sight withheld my gaze. Venus was bright and standing strong so close to the 3^rd day moon. A gentle crescent carving a cradle beautifully for Venus. It was so bright I was enthralled for a while – then motioned my brother to come see it. Bro went into garden to get a clearer look. Now usually dad is the star-man in the house and dad had gone for 40 winks after maghrib prayers and was in the other end of the house, where even my bugging calls, wouldn’t reach him.

Later that night, on the news, it was reported that this rare phenomenon stayed in that position for abt 3 hrs! Wow. Thereafter the positions reversed and Venus was sitting below the crescent arc. In Arabic the alphabet n’oon is formed when a quart of an arc is below a dot [ﻥ ] and the alphabet ba or ‘bay’ in Urdu is formed when the dot is below the arc [ﺏ]. So the next day everyone is going around asking ‘Did you see the ‘bay’ last night? Stunning wasn’t it?’ which took me a while to realise they were referring to the crescent moon sighting. And questions like “I saw the noon, did you see the bay?” Haha.

Healing Cats

It's amazing how healing it is to watch a cat sleep. Make that a pregnant cat and make it a breezy afternoon.
Watching a cat sleep takes away some of the worry from the ebb of one's life...
Three nights in a row, the cat visits and company have become healing in so many ways. The pregnant cat is growing healthily, I’m happy to report. She esp loves it when I cup her preggie tummy in both hands and just hold her like that. Sweet thing. ;) and then when my hands move, she moves her body so that my hands will land on her lower back and thighs – gosh like a pregnant woman, she must want constant massage, attention – maybe it’s a tad heavy to carry that weight. Food wise whatever I give her is never enough. So now the family is instructed to feed her whenever I’m not around. I’m right now at aunt’s place again – for easier internet usage.

Then last night, wow – pure white mother cat with her gorgeously cute pure white baby cat decided to drop by the area where pregnant Sandy likes to sprawl herself in. White cats were HUNGRY. Woh. So hungry that they splattered the milk so bad they were soon licking it off the ground. Goodness. But later the lil kitty became so friendly with me, she was cuddling up in my lap trying to find grooves. Aww man it was so cute to watch and play with. Gorgeous lil thing. I must say all these cats have been lil acts of graces for me, whenever I’ve felt distanced from my regularity of life, alone from not being understood, or misunderstood in the contrary and inadvertently caused snags. Their unconditional giving of themselves is remarkable – sure they lap up our attention, our loving, but they give of themselves so that we may receive. God bless cats ;)

'Lemon Tree very pretty...'

When I was just a lad of ten, my father said to me,
Come here and learn a lesson from the lovely lemon tree.
Don’t put your faith in love, my boy, my father said to me,
I fear you’ll find that love is like the lovely lemon tree.

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.
Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

One day beneath the lemon tree, my love and I did lie
A girl so sweet that when she smiled the stars rose in the sky.
We passed that summer lost in love beneath the lemon tree
The music of her laughter hid my father’s words from me:

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of poor lemon is impossible to eat.
Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of poor lemon is impossible to eat.

One day she left without a word. She took away the sun.
And in the dark she left behind, I knew what she had done.
She’d left me for another, its a common tale but true.
A sadder man but wiser now I sing these words to you:

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of poor lemon is impossible to eat.
Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of poor lemon is impossible to eat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are the lyrics of a song I learnt in Girl Guides many moons ago. I find it very touching. I’m sitting here in the verandah looking at our lemon tree and slightly glowing at the number of lemons peeking out from all the branches. I touched them today and they need to grow a lil more, before being used. We have been plucking somefor lemon juice drink every few days... and gosh on hot summery days like these, the lemon tree is most welcomed!

Pic Credit: Gourmet Stock Images

Watching Heroes

Wow I've just caught up to Episode 16 of Heroes... i'm probably 7 or 8 episodes behind.
Amazing storylines that weave in and out with the past episodes...

Still trying to get over how Claire is Nathan's daughter and Peter Petrelli the man who saved her is her uncle! Does Claire know Matt Parkman? hmmm... gosh my brain's overworked on possible scenarios... and then Sylar - Eeeuuu. Hate the guy.

The DNA thing is getting a bit far fetched... but heck for the sake of a story I'll watch it. Hiro is on his own now... hmmm and hey they showed Bozeman, Montanna! Greg Mortenson's hometown! Unreal...

looked picturesque with all that snow. :) I was so excited to read that Suresh and Sylar drove up there.

Man am I hooked on heroes or what! I wish everyone would watch it so we could all talk abt it. But they are not showing it here on Star World... different programming.

On another note, have been indulging heavily on yummy sweet mangoes... every day is mango day. Even had a mango falooda the other day! Awesome.

If there are any other people who watch heroes as regularly as me, and as excitedly as me, pls leave me comments :) Would gladly share your excitement :) hahaha

Ok more comments.... just watching Episode 19 and I got questions...

What was that whole thing between jessica/niki and Nathan? I didnt get the link, isn't jessica working for linderman... wil they pack together ...

hmmm claire being nathan's daughter!!! ... warrao. unreal twist in plot. And Sylar -- eeeuuu, I hate that character. been watching Peter's and Masi Oka's interviews on NBC clips. :) I love Peter! Aww, now find me the man ;)

Green Lungs

Forgotten & left to the chance birds?

It was by chance that I received an sms on Wed announcing a ST article which claimed that Khatib Bongsu was going to be taken over by the military.

I remember the days when we fought to keep 'them' from wallowing up the precious bird nesting grounds - we went and got 25,000 signatures to save Senoko, and that was just 10 years ago - all credit perhaps to Dr Ho Hua Chew (& his band of Nature lovers) who fortituously stuck by the importance of preserving the area as an essential migratory birds spot. Later, research revealed more birds used Khatib Bongsu as a rest point than the (by then) declared Bird Sanctuary of Sungei Buloh Nature Park. Such perserverance lies in the powers that be... History and rundown on Khatib Bongsu background can be found at http://www.wildsingapore.com/news/20051112/051111-3.htm

Anyway, so I made an impromptu decision to head out to Khatib Bongsu on Thur morning, right after Subuh, armed with two slices of bread, my cap, small water bottle and the reliable digi cam :) It was with another friend who works from home so we were both gainfully unemployed that morning ;) But ahh, what delights awaited our curious eyes, minds and hearts.

Just off Yishun Ave 6, right opposite from North View Pri School, is a obvious path leading into the forest/woods. There is a small roadside offering 'shelter-hut', unmanned the last I saw at the start of the path. It also has an obvious red & white road barrier (twisted at points - looks damn old) raised at the entrance to the path.
These signs will tell you you're on the right track.
This is the view of Yishun Ave 6 and the blocks next to the pri school once you enter the path. (see right pic)

Be prepared for a nice long trek in - it's not exactly your 20 min morning walk. Firstly to get there, from the nearest bus stop is a walk of abt half an hour. Then another 45 min in to the actual mangrove (but rest assured, you're in when you can't hear any urban sounds) ;) The sounds and scents of the forest truly do make the spirit smile. Uplifting indeed in mad-urban Singapore. So go, go!

If you drive, you could drive in thru the raised barrier to at least halfway point. This is by the two storey house that looked well kept and used. Dog was friendly :) I smiled at him and got a 'Hey, cool dudette!' wag back ;)

Along the way we saw these wonderful creations:

Pagoda Flower

'Epiphany' :)

It's interesting to equip ourselves with a bit of local nature before venturing on these beautiful green lungs we and the birds are blessed with. A good section on mangroves in Singapore is in the Chek Jawa Guide (avail from Nature's Niche)

Some of the mangrove trees at Khatib Bongsu look like ballerinas balancing on the water :) Bakau is the local name for these and otherwise they are officially known as Rhizophora ronata.
These act as natural buffers and protectors in times of floods and tsunamis.

You'd pass this two storey house on your left about 30 min into your walk.

Left:This pathway actually leads to a wooden bridge over the mangrove and within 10 min you're back on Yishun Ave 6 in between 2 major construction sites.
Right: The mangrove surrounds the front of the house. What a view to wake up to :)




(Left): A disused keong style dead end at the mangrove.
There were shaded kelong stops to sit, quietly and read or reflect.
(Right): Other Singaporeans had the same idea as us

By means of trees, wildlife could be conserved,
pollution decreased and the beauty of our landscapes enhanced.
This is the way, or at least one of the ways, to spiritual,
moral, and cultural regeneration. ~ E.F. Schumacher

here's wishing the military treat our dearest khatib bongsu with respect as all humankind should ;)

The love for cats

If I could provide love for all the cats in the world, i would ;)
I can't believe how much I love cats. It's like they call out to me with their eyes! With the twitch of their ears. Their soft purrings, their sexy catty rolls on the floor and their desire to want more - more patting, more attention, more tickles, more caresses.

Like hallo, we do have a life too u know. Like I'm going to work and the kitty on the 3rd floor tries to block my way! not kidding, she's run ahead of me down the stairs so she can block my step and I can't step over her cos if she moves, i trip! Planning or what? :) Yet I cannot complain.

Cats are lovely solitudinal creatures who have so much capacity to be loved, it puts us humans to shame. honestly.

I've been spending the last few weeks walking around Singapore (area around Raffles Hospital, Masjid Sultan, Bugis and then Middle Rd near National Library, and of course the infamous cat hang out place near Boat Quay leading to the Bridge connecting Fullerton hotel to the ACM) has lots of roaming cats... some hiding in bushes, some playing with insects, haha, and some plain lazing and sunning themselves. Gosh, what life!

Here's a special tribute to my dad's late uncle who was such a dedicated cat lover, that even in his poverty stricken state in the crowded Bombay nook of Dongri, he made space and love for the cats - loving them, bathing them, feeding them and studying their faces to see if they were attacked etc... such love. Grand Uncle, you are indeed a hero for cats. And i admire you for that.

meow :) *

inner start-ups

you get this feeling of complete happiness, peace and harmony within and you know you've hit home. It's that feeling for me now after what seems like a bloody long time. I've finally started on working for myself. From home. I've meant to do this ages ago, even attempted it 3 years back and then gave it up!! Yikes. This time i feel more prepared and inshaAllah things will pan out more sustainably.

need to be surrounded with good energy and good thoughts, good people who mean well. i've made some decisions: no need to waste time with anything that works against my grain. it's not worth my time/energy.

I will plan out each day and start things that i want to do. And complete them.
Every inner start-up is a long process. It cannot be abandoned. It's like taking care of a pet or having plants. You can't just neglect them, forget about them or expect someone else to pick up your pieces. So this personal decision seems to be very much a responsibility issue which I want to take on and grow into.

I'm going back to my writing and editing and sure it will take time before Iget paid but at least I'll get the time to do all the other things I value... like cooking and being at home :) ahh such bliss.

so i'm not your typical Leo - go getter, can't sit still, adventurous for the sake of a challenge - no. I'll take my cake when i want it. Right now the slice feels good to be at home and just work hard.

here's more writing power to all of us out there striving out on our own!

Good Energy to you all!
:)

Forgiveness

It touches you on the oddest of moments, teaching you in amazing tacit ways what the biggest virtue in humankind can possibly be - forgiveness.

i speak not as an observer, but as a participator. at different parts of my life, i realise, it is forgiveness that makes us human, cleanses us of undue thoughts, purifies our horizon and makes us look once again at life, the world and the future with hope and renewed faith.

yet, why does bitterness prevail in the hearts of some? i witness it again and again - and it hurts me. Surely this is not the purpose of creation. of experiencing day to day living. of knwing that we will wake up tomorrow cos we are already making plans with our friends.../ family etc. Where does forgiveness come from?

Have we stopped to wonder? Why do we take it for granted. where it comes from i mean, not the act of forgiving. alwys going back to the source, the soul is constantly searching for this source. I was reading somewhere today "... spiritual aspiration is to the intellect as perfume is to a flower." well captured i thought.

and still we do not know answers or maybe we are shown the answers but we can't see them cos we dont recognise them. hmmm..

back to forgiveness: it's so 'big' to forgive but once done, it's the easiest thing is the world, more easier than oversoming some fear that resides within. But if anger is bore within, and forgiveness is not on the mind and hearts (and sadly not even in their soul) then experience makes us a hardened man/woman.

how readily the dog forgives... whether a street stray or your domesticated jack russel, poodle, or terrier. It forgives and moves on and LOVES u again. How wonderfully simplistic this creation is :)

human tendancy to hold on to anger to sad experience and replay the scenario over and over is a sad way to live out our days. Sure grief is important, but one MUST move on. Whether it takes, 6 months, one year or 10 years, everyday the effort to forgive and move on must occur. I feel this way we can spread more understanding among one another.

Of course i am not saying just forgive without rectifying the situation. I say by all means address the issue, point out to the person(s) how they may have wronged us but hey move on.

i end here with a few words from a persian poet:

" Beware of the bitterness of internal wounds
Because at last an internal wound will break out
Forbear to uproot one heart as long as thou canst
Because one sigh may uproot the world."
~ Sadi of Shiraz

Round a few continents

Well, before I set foot i thought I better remind myself where I'll be going. So here's a very very brief itinerary...

SIN-Cali- Seattle-Vancouver-Toronto-Montreal-Ithaca- New York-(maybe Boston, Philadelphia)
New York - London - Amsterdam - Frankfurt-Kaiserslautern-Rhine Valley-Prague- Bregenz- Zurich- Geneva - Morroco- Jordan(maybe), Dubai(possible sidetrip umrah to Mecca & Madinah - meet dad in Dubai), Back to Dubai - Karachi

KHI-Mumbai-BKK-Laos- SIN

More updates coming up soon!